Have you dug into your overspending triggers?

Redefining what is a luxury was a big shift for my spending habits

Do you feel like overspending is keeping you from sticking to your goals (or setting them in the first place)? This topic recently came up in a group I'm in. Women were debating *why* overspending is prevalent. This is one of the reasons I think it happens that people don't consider, so I thought I'd share my response with you all!

I find that sometimes overspending is a reaction to people feeling like they were deprived at some point in their lives. As children they were embarrassed because of things they couldn't have or buy because parents wouldn't or couldn't provide them. So now, as adults, they buy things to make themselves feel socially secure.

We as humans overlook the basic need to fit into the group as a survival mechanism. When other kids are mean to you and ostracize you because of how you look (clothes you wear, what trapper keeper you had, whether or not your family bought lunchables) it triggers a primal survival instinct to fit in.

Back in the caveman days, if you weren't part of a tribe, you were more likely to die. It's not literally the case now, though the people you spend the most time with still impact your life trajectory greatly, but that part of the brain is still there and we're still living by those instincts. Overspending is one of the ways it presents and social media definitely exacerbates it.

The same happens if someone grows up wealthy and then goes out on their own and earns at a different socioeconomic level than their parents. That can really mess with their identity and sense of belonging.

It comes down to emotional intelligence and being happy with who you are as a person. Recognizing you're safe, deciding how you choose to live, and defining your own idea of success. As long as our basic needs are met - food, housing, transportation, most of us can be very happy with whatever income we are at as long as we find safety and joy within ourselves.

Costs have definitely risen to a level that has outpaced income. We have data for that, it's undeniable. Should we have to live with less comforts than our parents and grandparents? No! But overspending beyond our income level is putting our future selves in jeopardy.

I'd love to hear if anything came up for you while reading this. Drop a comment or send me a message using the contact form!

A Shift in Perspective Can Help Your Money

I’ve always been a little disappointed with the view from my home. I can see a beautiful sunrise, but it’s mired with multiple utility poles and more lines than I care to count. As a person with the desire to seek beauty, I still appreciate it, but I rarely would share a photo with others because of these flaws. This year, my husband and I blazed a trail from our yard down the very steep bank to the river’s edge. Suddenly I have this gorgeous view, unmarked by phone and electrical lines - the same property, the same sunrise, just slightly down the hill… a change of perspective.

“Sometimes we get so caught up in the situation we are in that it’s hard to see the way through.”

Sunrise… meh

Try as I may to hide those lines, there they are along the left, cutting off the best of the view.

Sunrise: Ethereal

Sometimes we get so caught up in the situation we are in that it’s hard to see the way through. As a coach, I often see my role as helping a person become an observer of their situation financially and that is rarely black and white. Your bad day at work led to some “retail therapy”, shift from shopping to feel better, to taking a walk in nature or meditating. Your overscheduled weekend made it harder to plan meals for the week leading to a night of takeout and another night eating at a restaurant that wasn’t on your spending radar. Shift from paying for conveniences to taking 1 hour to plan for those days when convenience is needed.

We often don’t consider how our mood or time management effect our finances, but they do. I like to help my clients step back and see the root of why their situation is how it is. Sometimes it is a simple fix, sometimes it needs more digging, and slower action. My journey has definitely been the “more digging and slower action” plan. Helping my clients discover their values around spending helps them feel better about their money and increases their likelihood of success! 

Schedule a free Q&A call with me and we’ll see what a shift in perspective could do for you!